A Thank-you Note to My Coaches.

 This piece originally appeared on Dads Roundtable, 2013.

Joe Baum. Paul Dresser. Jim Fowler. George Frisch. Nick Logan.

In the words of Butch Cassidy, “Who are those guys?”

Those guys are my coaches- listed alphabetically. From these men, I learned the lessons that formed my vision of righteous manhood.

From these men, I learned about duty and sacrifice; how to put the needs of the group beyond the needs of the ego and the self. I learned what it means to give up myself in order to be part of something bigger than my own vague sense of “me.”

From these men, I learned about discipline. I learned how to stretch myself mentally, physically and emotionally. I learned that I can always do one more. I learned that in order to give orders, I must first learn to take orders.  I learned to speak up. I learned to shut up. I learned that there is beauty in delaying the brief glory of the moment for growth that will last long into the future.

From these men, I learned that honor matters. I learned to play within the rules. I learned that one cannot have ‘a little’ integrity. I learned that fair play is best demonstrated when no one else is there to see it.

From these men, I learned about responsibility. I learned that training for sport develops character, yet, in the playing of sport, one’s character is revealed. 

From these men, I learned that when the baton is passed, one must grab it tight and run your darnedest.

Earlier this week, I received a phone call from a student-athlete I coached on our high school ski team a few years back. An honor student, a captain, a quiet leader; When I spoke about him at our banquet in his senior year, I said “Josh is the sort of young man every parent would want for a son. He is the sort of young man you would want your daughter to marry.” (As I have a very fine son of my own, I have some expertise in this area.) Josh is graduating from University soon and is entering the US Air Force Officer’s Training program. He asked me for a letter of recommendation. Here’s the email conversation which followed.

Hey Coach Stanley, 

This is my email and where you can send my letter whenever you get around to completing it. Hopefully within the next two weeks. Thank you again for doing this, I really appreciate it. 

Thanks again,

Joshua

Josh,

I will write it this weekend, edit it Monday and get them in the mail. I usually write, then put stuff aside, and then go back and re-read.

Does the letter need to go into a sealed envelope with my signature over the flap? I recall I had to do that for an Officer Candidate School letter a few years ago. I'll give you a copy, too. I said good things.

Fortunately, they're true.

Coach

Coach,

No you don't, a signature on the letter is enough I believe. Haha, as far as you know they are true ;) but thanks Mr. Stanley, I really appreciate it.

Josh

Josh-

Good enough. In the mail tomorrow from Flint.

Thanks for asking for the letter.  I really do like bragging about you guys.

All I ask is that when it's your turn in 20 years or so for some kid, you do the same.

Coach

Coach-

Awesome, thank you, and you got a deal. Hopefully some kid trusts me enough to write a letter for him.

Also, when I get my race schedule for this winter I'll send you an email or something so you have it. Be great to be back on the hill with you. :)

Josh

Coaches, over the course of a season, our won-loss records matter. But over the course of our life, what matters are the lives we touch.

Gentlemen,

Joe Baum- Michigan State University soccer 1976-8

Paul Dresser- Carman High School soccer 1972-6

Jim Fowler- FSRC Tennis 1970-6

George Frisch- USSA Skiing 1976-81

Nick Logan- FSRC Tennis 1972-8

The lessons I learned from you; on the field, court and hill, molded me as a coach and a man.  Those lessons shaped my life. Your lessons will continue to teach far into the future, long beyond 2013.

As coaches, we never know whose lives we touch. Thank you.